Poetry Page 4

This poem really reflects my personal testimony, and the struggles I faced before becoming a christian...

When I reached for someone
  You were there.
When I was at my loneliest,
  You were there.
The pain I suffered,
The tears I cried,
  Sleepless nights
  And empty days
Built up inside me -
  An avalanche of despair.
You called me - I ignored You.
"Too childish," I said,
"The answer's not there."
I went my own way,
  Aching emptiness my companion
  Rejection and misery my friends.
Nights were endless,
And days loomed ahead of me;
  A meaningless nothing
In which I had no part.
Rejection and misery
  Began to consume me;
Loneliness mocked me
  In the midst of so-called friends.
I had nowhere to go,
  No value,
Or so I thought.
You were calling me,
  Oh, so faithfully,
With a voice tender and true:
"Come to Me, My child.
My love is steadfast, and it's for you.
I made you as you are.
I planned you before I made the earth.
I want you - I love you,
You are my very own.
You cannot change this,
No matter what you do.
Come to Me, My child,
I want to care for you."
Nothing had helped me,
  I was floundering in the dark.
But Your words came to me,
  And hope burned dimly in my soul,
A battered soul, tired,
  Afraid to trust.
I wondered as I heard You,
  "Me? I don't understand.
I'm a nobody,
  Unwanted, unloved.
I don't meet the standards of personhood.
I'm not beautiful, I don't dress right.
I sweat, my hair is out of place, I get dirty.
Nobody's interested in me,
And I have nothing of interest to share.
Why do You want me?"
His answer came,
  Like a whisper on a breeze:
"I want you for who you are -
My special creation,
Crafted lovingly.
I know your faults,
I know you as no one ever will,
Yet, I love you still.
My love for you is not based on
What you do or don't do -
My love for you is for your very being.
You - not your actions or words.
I see what you will become,
The beauty in your heart,
And I rejoice in that -
My plan, unfolding flawlessly."
I was confounded -
Unconditional love?
  Could this be true?
Is there really someone I can go to,
  No matter what?
Someone who cares for me,
  Even if I fail?
"This is too good to be true,"
I thought.
"Dare I believe it?"
I looked back on my past,
  And considered the choice before me.
I was at a crossroad
  And suddenly I realized the importance
Of my choice -
This option before me I'd so carelessly
  Tossed aside before.
I remembered my past choices,
  The scars of which I still carried,
And decided to follow You.
The world had hurt me;
  Rejected me and scorned me.
I had nothing left to lose.
Now my days are filled with laughter
  As I delight in You.
Your love is overwhelming,
Your promises are true.
You are faithful, forgiving,
And I can depend on You.
You are everything I was looking for,
  Everything and more.
Goodness and mercy are my friends,
And at Your right hand,
  There are pleasures forevermore.
I did nothing to deserve Your love,
  I can do nothing to stop it.
You just love me!
Everlasting, neverending, always faithful love!

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